Shauk hai!

It was one of those hot, dry weekends. The fan hummed in my room and the whole house was quiet. The 2 other girls at home were still in deep slumber. My sat was a total blur! It passed by me and the best memory I have of it was when after a wait of over 4 months, I finally had in my hands the 2 books I'd wanted for long! The joy of hugging those 2 books, smiling at the lady at the counter while she billed them was something else. As the day ended, I spoke to my best friend and told him how lonely the day was. I did nothing about it but I do have tomorrow in my hands I said. I slept through some weird dreams..dreams that are still hazy but I'd rather let them remain blurred for now.

I woke up Sun already buzzing with how I'm going to enjoy my solitude. After lazing around till about 12..i finally left home with nothing particular in my mind. I knew I was hungry so went to this quite little place that let me be by myself. I ordered a pasta in creamy red sauce with some melting cheeze and a thick smoothie to put away the thoughts of the previous day. A small TV had the match running. While I stretched back on the wooden chairs, I took my book out and started to read. I am currently reading 'The Crimson Throne' that is a tale as narrated by 2 European travelers about the war of succession to the Peacock Throne.

I walked around after that, got myself a really lovely pair of oxidized silver earrings and entered a bookstore. Now there is something about browsing through a book store that gets me all melancholic. The neatly stacked up rows, the best sellers, the odd Pablo Neruda poetry that I dare to read, the classics, the history section..they feel like walking through my very own Neverland.

When I got home later that evening I sat and thought about how I have changed in these past few months. Of late, I have begun to enjoy my solitude more often than not. I like keeping some thoughts to myself just to relish them alone. I do my own things and I am at peace with those around me. I do things that make me happy. I read a lot, go on random walks, have sheesha and some intelligent conversation, visit bookstores for hours and pick up books that I can re read years from now and smile to myself while at it.

I sat and thought of those who matter the most in my life and those who don't. I thought about the friends who were true and about the rest I could do without. I thought about those handful of people I love and treasure the most, the ones who add more than what a friend does.

I now walk past those who hurt without as much of a 2nd glance. Whatever stories of malice I heard, I can now shut them out without a need to question it. I smile genuinely only at those who have remained in their true colors. I have come clean with myself and learnt to ignore those who do not make a difference. It's amazing how some people add drama to your life. If only I knew earlier that it was as simple as cutting them out to get rid of all the drama!

I hum to myself as I finish writing. A simple 20 mins of penning down what was in my mind did work! There's this song that I sing aloud when alone. It sets the perfect tone for what I am thinking right now.

Raat ka shauk hai

Raat ki saundhi si

khamoshi ka..shauk hai

Subah ki roshni

Bezubaan subho ki aur gungunati

Roshni ka shauk hai, ho shauk hai.

San sani anwlon ka

Ke ishq ke banwalon ka

San sani anwle

Ke ishq ke banwle

Barf se khelte baadalon ka

Shauk hai!

~ Gulzar.