Bavra Mann

This song is from one of the finest movies 'Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi'. With this year coming to an end, I'm sitting up after reading and thinking 'what else is coming my way?'.

I have had an eventful year to say the least..simple joys, exuberant celebrations, disappointments, failure, tears, small tiffs, fun vacations..in short.. everything came by that sums up life. In all likelihood, I will be here in Hyd on New Yr's eve. With most of my friends home for a nice, long vacation, my family enjoying the rain make music on the roof of my Kerala home, my sis looking to finally start life in Blr, I will be right here, reading my books and listening to my songs.

These past couple of months, I have been reading with a vengeance making up for the lost time when I stopped reading in Hyd. Books in store: Kiran Desai's 'Inheritance of Loss' and ' The witch of Portebello'. Books next on the list- 'Secret life of Bees' and 'On Beauty'.

On New Yr's eve I know for sure, I will not spend time on the idiot box watching some silly Bollywood starlet shake her hips in funny costumes. I'm looking forward to start the year doing what I love- a nice walk in the terrace, some chai, maybe even go for a walk by the lake and finish my books. Yes, there will be an effort to wake up early and see the first sunrise of the New Year. I may be alone but still have my thoughts keeping me company.

So, while I make these plans of being by myself and having a nice time..I'm reminded of a long made promise. A promise to myself that one day I will have my own little place by the lake in Ladakh. Calm, secluded, blissful. I will sit by that lake shore, make my yummy chai, go on long treks with no maps and read my truck load of books.

Bavre se nain chahe, bavre jharokon se, bace nazaaron ko takna! Until then, I'll just hum this song!

Posting this song while singing it.

Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna

Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein

Bavri Se Dhadkaane Hain, Bavri Hain Saansen

Bavri Si Karwaton Se, Nindiya Door Bhaage

Bavre Se Nain Chaahe, Bavre Jharokhon Se,

Bavre Nazaron Ko Takna. Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna.

Bavre Se Is Jahan Main Bavra Ek Saath Ho

Is Sayani Bheed Main Bas Haathon Mein Tera Haath Ho

Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho

Bavre Se Pair Chahen, Baavron Tarano Ke, Bavre Se Bol Pe Thirakna.

Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna.

Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan

Thartharati Low Ho Maddham, Bavri Madhoshiyan

Bavra Ek Ghooghta Chahe, Haule Haule Bin Bataye,

Bavre Se Mukhde Se Sarakana,

Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna.

Clutterd Clarity.

Why do those who claim to be strong need something to hold on to? Why do we get insecure about those we love? Why do we question another's happiness just because we aren't a part of it or had no role to play in it? Why is a new friend considered an intruder sometimes? Why is it essential to make claims of your love? Why do we make sure the world knows what we think of when it does not really matter? Why do we judge someone at first sight? Why should every relation have a name attached to it? Why is something we do not agree with termed as wrong? Why do we get jealous when we see new friendship blossom? Why does it annoy when phone calls go unreturned? Why is it essential for your gift to be the best another's received? Why do we compete to be important to someone? Why is so difficult to let go? Why is another's freedom a choice we think is alright for us to make? Why do we hold hands regardless of whether they want to be set free? Why do we have to fix things that don't need to be mended? Why can't we let solitude to be relished? Why are simple pleasures considered madness? Why is a hug sometimes like a noose that strangles? How can words be framed to deliberately cause pain? Why is it hard to accept the love is not ours? How can it be simple to sing a stolen song? Why can't we break free? From the heart that blinds us. From the mind that refuses to be silent? From those who hurt us. From those who hate us. From those you can cannot forgive nor forge. From the love that was stolen. From the friend who departed. From those who tamper with our dreams? From those who laugh at our beliefs. From those who hugged and stabbed. From those who loved and forgot.

Living by myself made me question things I took for granted. I never knew that sometimes, you need to hold on tight else it slips away. You will be left looking at the drifting sand from the gaps of your fist. You think everything is going fine when it was just the calm before the storm. You think everyone's simple and honest when they could be prodding all along. It dawns on you that you are a bad judge of people. Nothing can be accepted for being what it is. Like the truth sometimes, everything is layered. Every peel you tear, unfolds a new tale. Clarity is like a muffled drum. When the chaos subsides, the low hum resounds. The cluttered cobweb of thoughts may block the sunshine. Happiness seems to be like a bubble waiting to burst.

Can we swim ashore away from these questions? Is there anyone who can answer them? Is life really as simple or complicated as you make it to be?