Redemption

“ Consider them both, the sea and the land; and do you not find a strange analogy to something in yourself? For as this apalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half known life. God keep thee! Push not off from that isle, thou canst never return.”

- Herma Melville, Moby Dick.

Moby Dick was one complex book. If I read it now perhaps, it would give me a whole new meaning I did not quite see earlier. Isn’t that how quiet life is as well? Each time, there’s a reason to rejoice, every moment of despair, of success and failure, of laughter and unexplained anxiety, of tears and fears; life does not wait and watch..it moves on and you just have to traverse along.

Hope is a very good thing and goodness never dies. That scene from ‘Shawshank Redemption’ will always play in my head. While I’m sitting at home on a break from work, my mind is cluttered with a million thoughts. One of which forced me to give it words. I believe in my principles. They haven’t been rewarding always but then these are things I trust in which are not dependent on what they give me in return. I may never be as strong as Howard Roark of ‘Fountainhead’ whose integrity was as unyileding as granite. I have my fears, I worry a lot and am pessimistic about certain things. But I also am fiercely independent and will not change my core beliefs no matter how I’m told to otherwise by the wise world.

Don’t let anyone take the music away your head, your heart. Its yours and no one can destroy it. There’s an island of my dreams, my hopes and my believes. No horrors can steal it from me if I hold on to it. I have questioned others luck and my misfortunes with it. I, like the normal person, gave up, spitting at my own fate and damning existence; that requires a breakdown of principles. Some give up at the first touch of pressure, some sell out, lose their fire, never realizing how and when they lost it. Then all of it vanishes in the vast swamp of society which tells them that maturity is abandoning the emotions of the heart; security; practicality and keeping your eyes and ears open to new ways of clawing your way up the ladder. Yet, a few hold on, knowing that the fire in you is not to be betrayed for the sake of fitting in with the more successful world. They will cry their eyes out at the bubble of dreams that burst. They will learn to give their hopes a shape, a purpose. It does not matter that only a few will learn to respect the voice from within which refuses to join the mad chorus outside- and the rest will betray it, shut it as the voice of the weak hearted. It is those few that move the world and give life its new meaning. I am a normal girl, who always did her homework on time, who rarely got caught doing mischief, who listened to her folks breathe down the neck sometimes and still never forgot to respect them. My journey is far from those happily ever after tales. I don’t know whether it would ever account for. But this I know, that no matter how many times life gives me a tough ride with new faces or ordeals, I will just have to keep my hope alive. I will redeem, I will be free of my fears. Every man has just one destiny. Each time I break, I just have to keep telling myself that. My dad didn’t name me after talent for nothing. I have a destiny, a hope as unflinching as my trust in God. A core which no one can steal. I will make my destiny and my peace- sooner or later. I will remain those few who may be rediculed for holding on tight to their hopes and their dreams. I am willing to not discuss my luck or the lack of it but work hard to not give up on what is my right- my right to happiness. That will remain mine, just beneath my wings of hope!

I may remain conflicted with the world that defines the success and failure of another, but at complete peace with myself.